Impaled Fairies
4 November 2007
Judy never thought that she'll die in a cafe. Certainly not one that liked to have paintings of fairies being impaled by gleeful children plastered over the wall. She never imagined that her death would be quite so public; in her mind her death was to come peacefully in the privacy of her home surrounded by her loved ones. Surely that was the dignified way to do it. Instead after only eating for five minutes and finishing merely half a slice of French toast whilst having polite conversation with her daughter Kallie, Judy suddenly vomited onto the table before collapsing to the ground. The entire cafe was in a state of shock except for Kallie who had been slipping poison into her mother's food for two weeks now.
Judy watched the scene with horror as she stared at her lifeless body on the ground; on one side of her was a middle aged woman with a cellphone to her ear calling emergency services, on the other was Kallie pretending to be in a state of distress. The whole scene was getting more chaotic as the seconds passed on but to Judy the whole thing just seemed to be getting quieter; the colours in the world seemed to be slowly fading away around her - she looked at the painting of the impaled fairies she had once found so horrid and found the elements blending into each other. The blood soaked grass, the dying fairy and the wide-smiled children were becoming one and the same.
The scene started to calm down as the staff and customers at the cafe realised there was nothing more to be done until emergency services arrived. Reality started to hit Judy, she was dead, she could view her dead body as it lay motionless on the floor complete with little pieces of vomit on her chin and she wondered if this was it. She panicked about the things she never did, the things she never said, the joys she never experienced but what scared her most was what lay ahead. She ran up to the nearest person and screamed into their ears - no words came to her but the shrill ringing of her voice.
It was then a bright blue shape entered Judy's new gloomy world. It was a man walking into the cafe; he was impossible to miss as he was the only object left in what seemed like the entire world that was constructed with actual colour. He walked up Judy, held out his hand and shook her hand. ``Hi, sorry I'm late.''
Judy was still struggling to put words together but managed a weak ``what?''
``Yeah. You're dead.''
``But... But.''
``And I'm supposed to be waiting here as soon as you die but I was late. Some may say that it's a little odd I'm late considering that time and space aren't actually applied to me - but what are you going to do?''
Judy hadn't really been listening to the man in the bright blue, ``I'm dead.''
``I know. I just told you that.''
``But I'm dead!''
``Don't tell me you didn't see it coming.''
``I was just eating breakfast!''
``Whatever. We should go now.''
``What's going to happen to me?''
``How the hell should I know? I just take you to the place.''
``What place?''
``You know where they weigh chickens and play cricket matches and decide where to dump you.''
The paramedics burst into the cafe and took a look at Judy's body - checking her vitals. They quickly grabbed the stretcher and put her on it to wheel back to the ambulance. Judy could barely make them out but she didn't want to leave her body now. The man in the blue clothes went to stop her, ``what are you doing?''
``I'm not leaving my body. I'm not going to die.''
``You're dead. There's no going back. Your daughter poisoned you because she thinks you're a miserable old cow. Your organs failed and so you died. What else did you expect to happen when you ate all that poisoned food? That you will be happy and carefree the rest of your long life? Fat chance. Now, with all that in mind, we should go.''
``Who are you? Why are you so horrible?''
``I'm the guy that takes you from here to The Other Place.''
``Why are you being so mysterious? What is the other place?''
``That's just what they call it - The Other Place - don't ask me why they named it that. You'll find out all of what they do there when we actually get there.''
Judy refused to listened to the man in the blue clothes; she moved away and started towards the ambulance which had just started its journey towards the hospital. The man just merely called back, ``hey look, I thought we already went through this. You are dead! Get over it!''
Judy turned back sharply and yelled at the man, ``Look you miserable little twerp! I don't want to die! I'm going to chase after my body and I'm going to fight this lethal poisoning!''
``Twerp? You called me a twerp?''
``I don't know who you are you horrible little man but I don't trust you.''
``Seriously, a twerp?''
Judy started to run after the ambulance. The man came out of the cafe and yelled back after her, ``why are you bothering with the illusion of space and time now? If you want to be somewhere you don't need to actually travel there...''
Suddenly Judy found herself in the emergency department with the man right next to her. Her body lay still on the bed as the doctors tried their tricks to revive her. They realised it was a lost cause, the doctor wiped his brow and stood away from the bed signally everyone else to do the same. He looked at a watch and said the words, ``time of death, nine thirty'', everyone apart from a nurse promptly left.
``See? You're dead. Those fancy doctors think you're dead. I've been saying over and over that you're dead. And quite frankly I think the whole situation you're in makes it pretty obvious you're dead - I guess your senses have been dimming as you realise that you're no longer meant to be here. You're not coming back to life so can we please go?''
Judy just stood there.
``What is it?'' asked the man impatiently.
``Why did I have to die?''
``Oh for fuck's sake. I don't care.''
``What are you anyway?''
``I told you this already. I'm the guy that takes you to The Other Place. That's it. Now hurry up.''
``You're not very nice.''
``So what? You're dead. You don't need nice right now. Now are you coming?''
``I hate you.''
``Everyone always does.''
``I don't understand why they send you to meet people when they die.''
``Neither do I''
Posted byBren at 2:14 am
That's awesome, Bren! A gripping start. I need to see if I can make a beginning myself sometime soon... still only written one day's worth!