All Wise and That
11 November 2007
After Judy had explained the concept of bandages and wound management to the collectors they were able to clean Portia up and stop the bleeding. Judy took a step back and looked at the group of collectors who featured a huge look of worry on their faces and asked ``So why couldn't you guys stop the bleeding? You seem to be all wise and that.''
Zema looked up and grabbed a knife from her pocket. ``We do not bleed. We do not feel pain.''
To demonstrate her point she stabbed her stomach three times as hard as she could without flinching and then lifted up her shirt to reveal an unscathed abdomen.
``What Zema's trying to say is that we haven't really had to deal with blood gushing from a body before. Normally by the time we deal with people like that no amount of surgery can help them.'' said Tull.
``So you guys are invincible?''
``Yeah. People don't like being dead; if only I had a nickel every time someone tried to kill me... I'll have a lot of nickels. But yeah, if you could kill us then we'll need to create more beings to do the job - think of the retraining!''
Impatience was growing on Randall, ``Alright everyone! This discussion is just dandy but what I really want to do is know what happened to Portia. Let's go wake up her up.''
Judy replied, ``You can't wake up her up! She needs her rest!''
``No she doesn't. She's a collector. She doesn't actually need to sleep. We only sleep because... Hey Trams, why do we actually sleep?''
Trams stuttered a bit before answering, ``To help us facilitate a better relationship with our clients. The more they can identify with us then the more trusting they will be of us to transport them to the next plane of existence.''
``But they don't know whether we sleep or not.''
``They can tell.''
``No they can't - humans are morons.''
Indi shouted, ``Guys! This is so not important!''
Randall agreed, ``Right. We need to find out what happened to Portia so that it can't happen to me.''
``You mean all of us.''
``Yeah. Whatever.''
The team moved into the next room where Portia was lying on the couch sleeping soundly. She looked like she was back to her old self - blood gushing out of her certainly didn't suit her. She looked peaceful lying there with her blue uniform punched up by pictures of teddy bears and lollipops, her red hair decorated with a fake sunflower, her left cheek embossed with a tattoo of a monkey. Indi moved to her and shook her a tiny bit and whispered her name into her ear. Portia opened her eyes and gazed out to the scene, she found herself surrounded by a huge amount of people - Indi, Tull, Zema, Randall and Trams and also Judy who had been largely forgotten about by the others. Portia sat up and said in a confused voice, ``what?''
Randall quickly said, ``Do you remember what happened to you Portia?''
Portia replied with another confused ``what?'' as she discovered the bandage that had been applied to her stomach. She tried to stand up but found herself too weak.
``Just stay still... Don't panic Portia.'' said Indi in her attempt at a reassuring voice.
``What the hell happened?'' yelled Randall, totally defusing Indi's attempt to keep Portia calm.
``I lost her'', said Portia. ``I was taking a girl here and then I was attacked.''
``Yeah we kinda figured you were attacked, what with all the gushing blood and everything.'
``Shut up Randall'', said Indi. ``Tell us the story - from the beginning.''
``Okay. I was in the city of Friedman ya know collecting a seventeen year old girl named Candice who had snuffed it in a car accident.''
``Hey I was in Friedman!''
``Shut the fuck up Randall. Keep going Portia.''
``She was really sweet and she told me all about this adorable little dog she had called Puppy.''
Randall let out a big sigh and went to sit down; Indi glared at him but said nothing. Tull remained transfixed to the story, Zema was lying on the ground and Judy and Trams had sat down on opposite sides of the room a long time ago to listen to the tale.
``We spent a while chewing over her death and we had a big talk about it and she accepted it and we were about to come here; I just gave her a little more time to spend on earth. Just an extra minute to take it all in. I was standing by the park bench and she was by her favourite swings in the world - the ones that she grew up with. It was all so cute. Then everything just happened so freaking fast. Suddenly a man in a giant black cloak and a staff riding on a giant dark purple horse arrived in the park. I could tell he was some kind of supernatural being so I ran to go get Candice but then I was stopped by these dark creatures, as ugly as the pits of Randall's shower. I could hear Candice's scream but the creatures stopped me from going anywhere. Then the man on the horse rode over to me and stared into my eyes - his eyes were the deepest of reds. I yelled that he needed to let Candice go and he talked back in a voice soaked overnight in bourbon 'consider this a message'. Then it all just went black.''
Portia burst into tears and Indi comforted her. The others remained in silence until Trams spoke up, ``This doesn't make no sense. We're neutral; we don't fall on any side of the moral compass. We just take people from one plane of existence to the next - it's our only reason for being here - it's way we exist. Collectors have been here in one form or another since the beginning of time and we have never had war waged on us. It don't make no sense.''
``There's one thing I don't understand.'' said Judy, standing up. ``When that guy over there was 'collecting' me or whatever you call it; he seemed to know an awful lot about me and he had all these powers like manipulating time and space and stuff. Why do you guys know so little now? Why do you seem so powerless?''
``Why are you still here?'' said Randall. ``Do we still need her? Shouldn't we bump her off now... she is dead and that is kind of what we do.''
Indi turned to Portia, ``Can you feel Candice?''
Portia shook her head. She got up off the bed and went to the window. ``We have to go get her. That man is nothing but pure evil. I won't feel right til she's safe.''
Indi put her hand on Portia's shoulder, ``Of course. We're all going to find her.''
``What? Are you kidding me? What if we meet scary cloak horse man? I'm not really into that kind of thing. I ain't doing it!''
``Especially you Randall. Come on guys we need a plan.''
Posted byBren at 7:36 pm
